okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
