This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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