well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
