I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
