It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize