I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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