i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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