Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
