Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I smell stomach acid.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize