Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
