I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
