Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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