This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
