so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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