So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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