Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
