I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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