you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
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And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
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she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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