you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
