No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I understand Curling. That high.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
