I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
