I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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