She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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