peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My pussy is not your playground.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
