Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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