it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
