I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
