no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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