dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
