Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize