i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize