She's JV to your varsity
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i think i just lost a toe
do nipples grow back?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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