i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
