I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize