if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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