It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
