I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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