what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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