How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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