I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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