I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
