why didn't you poke me back
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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