kristin has been a bad kristin
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize