They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize