I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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