Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
