I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
