I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We got so high we made milksteak
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize