Barsexuality is the new black.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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