I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
