Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
