I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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