So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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