You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
