Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
