Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
