You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
