Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
