Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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