So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
