that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you have to choose: penises or morals?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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