fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
