Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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