why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
