Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
