I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
