Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
